ask the readers: terrible advice for navigating work as a new parent
It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes:
For various but mostly economic reasons, my spouse and I are not planning on having children. We both work in specialized fields that do not allow remote work, in roles that are required to be full-time. The best employment opportunities for both of us mean we’re locked into living in a high-cost-of-living area, and we rely on our full combined income to pay rent, bills, and student loans. This was our choice even before the current economic chaos.
My darling mother cannot fathom this decision. Her suggestions for ways to “make it work” with a baby have ranged from: “Take the baby into the office with you” to “just go part-time, you’ll still have health insurance.” An explanation of our finances does not help, because “everyone has worries about money but they make it work.” She’s even suggested that we should hurry up so we can use her for babysitting in the years before she retires. She currently works from home and intends to travel extensively during her retirement. (And all of this is ignoring that we lived with my grandparents and great-aunt for most of my early childhood!)
All of this to say: Readers in a similar situation, what other terrible, outdated advice for navigating the workplace as a new parent did you field from your families? How did you (or didn’t you) successfully communicate the current economic reality of having children? Not looking for solutions, just solidarity.
Personally I’d just tell her you’ve decided you don’t want to have kids and the decision is final. By framing it as being about money, you’re leaving it open for her to try to find ways to overcome that.
That said, let’s discuss terrible, unrealistic advice for navigating the workplace as a new parent! Readers?
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Source: www.askamanager.org